The protagonist ‘Mukesh’ received a call for a million-dollar job. He is going through a Qualifying
Interview with the very renowned TV Host ‘Shamitabh’ to get shortlisted for the job!
Roles:
Director / Compère
Host
Candidate
Friend
Partner
Audience - 4
Expert
Domain Experts - 3
Senior Interviewers - 2
HR
Singers - 2
Dancers - 4
Act:
Shamitabh: Welcome to the selection process Mukesh, you’re ready?
Mukesh: Thanks Shamitabh, I’m am quite excited about this job, and a bit nervous!
Shamitabh: Frankly we knew that you will be troubled to provide answers to our hard-hitting
questions. So we are happy to offer you 10 lifelines. Delighted? Let me quickly brief you –
On Computer:
1. Audience Poll [Random people tell their best guess to you!]
2. 50-50 [Computer eliminates 2 wrong or 2 right answers!] (Mukesh gasping!)
3. Phone A Friend [You call your preselected friend, who gets 30 sec to respond].
4. Flip Show [The existing question is thrown-out and flipped with a new question]
5. Double Dip [You get 2 chances to answer the same question].
6. Expert Advice [You can ask our self-proclaimed expert to tell you if you are wrong]
(Mukesh thinking: useless!)
7. Power Paplu [You can take favours from the big boss, and reuse an expired lifeline].
8. 3 Wise Men [We invite our Domain Experts to discuss within themselves (indefinitely),
and help you with the solution!]
9. Partner [You can sit with your preselected team member to ponder over the impossible!]
10. Help Yourself [At least answer one question on your own!]
Shamitabh: And, the most important rule: we need spontaneous answers – each question has a 30 sec timer and the right response raises your offer eligibility by 0.1 Million. We’ll not disclose our secret answers here. Our HR will revert to you with the evaluation (after ages)!
Godspeed! Shall we start?
Mukesh: Yes, please.
Shamitabh: Computer master, shoot the 1st question.
Mukesh: That’s easy, 6 zeros. (puzzled) Wait…are there only zeros in the paycheck?
Shamitabh: I’m not allowed to help; would you like to lock B or D?
Mukesh: Well, B gives me some hope and MORE zeros…I go with B. Shamitabh: Thankyou, we’ve noted. Let’s move to the next question.
Mukesh: Hmn…I’m capable of getting things done, and I also build strong connections to lead theway. I think pre-dominantly C.
Shamitabh: So, you want me to lock C?
Mukesh: Oh! hang on…what I mean is A.
Shamitabh: First you said C, now you want to change to A. What do you want?
Mukesh: The answer is C, so lock A.
Shamitabh: C…A, A…C….C or A…..I need an answer man!
Mukesh: Ahhhh….get me a 50-50.
Computer: Boom
Mukesh: This little computer is a pain in the #@$! I’ve been telling C.
Shamitabh: As you say, I’m locking it!!! Bang!
Mukesh (frustrated): But that’s not what I said…C as in A!
Shamitabh: It’s locked…the next question.
Mukesh: This is a tight one…I want to use the wisdom of crowds!
Shamitabh: Alright, let’s try the Audience Poll.
Audience 1 (whispering): A appears to be pouring out, the best thoughts come to me when I'm a few pegs down.
Audience 2: Tough one, I say D looks like a box, and me sitting outside it, thinking deeply.
Audience 3: I go with B, it is like crossing the set borders and marking outside it.
Audience 4: C is a beautiful example, break free and look out at the wild open space.
Shamitabh: Time’s up! Show us the result, computer.
Computer: Boom
Mukesh: As good as it could get!
Shamitabh: What do you choose now?
Mukesh: um…D…that was the only one thinking.
Shamitabh: Gotcha! Next one, computer.
Mukesh: I need the expert advice to give a diplomatically correct answer.
Shamitabh: Smart choice…let me introduce our crackerjack – Geniaa. She is never wrong!
Mukesh: Hello Genia, I’m wondering C? There’s no perfect answer, why not just crack a joke?
Expert: Is a million-dollar job a joke for you??
Mukesh: Holy shit! I didn’t want to sound a braggart…I guess I can show my social profile and let
them judge.
Expert: Interesting…let me see your maaagic ….(browsing)
I see why you want a change, you wrote your old boss was a retard!
You had some fun, eh? Bathing in beer on your business trip!
And wait…what is this …..
Mukesh (interrupting): Sorry, I just changed my mind to give a serious try. I’m confident to take this
role head on…I’m known to be a team-player, hard worker, goal oriented, innovative, problemsolver…BLAH BLAH BLAH
Expert: Good to hear…to tell the bare truth, I didn’t even hear (dozing)! I mean I have all of it, better
than you, and still when I applied (sigh) they refused ME this job!
Mukesh: I got the answer…Please lock D!
Computer: Listen to this musical and answer the question that’ll follow.
Singers [In chorus] Money Money Money – Mamma Mia
[tossing money out of pockets in the air]
Mukesh: This one’s tricky…they seem to test my analytical deduction! I’ll call the ‘Three Wise Men’!
Shamitabh: It is wiiise, to go to the wiiise! Our SME panel today consists of:
Pi, our Maths wizz, a PhD in Advanced Analytics and is faster than a calculator,
Gray, our Fin crime expert, with a decade of experience in tackling money-laundering cases; and
Hui, our HR representative from the Compensation & Benefit team.
Thank you all for giving your precious time. You can now discuss within yourselves and derive a
consensus.
Hui: I hope they have a lot, after all they aren’t our employees (ha ha ha)!
Pi (counting): Using my hypothesis at 90% confidence level, I derive a cash of approximately
1234.56$ with a probability of occurrence of 45%.
Gray: Hoz that? We don’t even have such a currency note or a coin??
Hui: Damn it…such a mean value!! By the way, what is the median and the mode? That one looks to
have such fat pockets!
Gray: Yeah, saw her taking out the wallet…it’s full of cards! But, we need to revisit our numbers and
add these short-term assets to derive the liquidity.
Pi: So, in this revised scenario using my hypothesis at 40% confidence level, I derive a cash of
approximately 1234567.89$ with a probability of occurrence of 20%.
Gray: So basically, you’re telling there’s 80% probability that your estimates are bull-shit!
Hui (cheering): Eureka Eureka…. he’s solved it for us…. isn’t that the last response D?
Shamitabh: Thank-you for providing us such insights. Mukesh, would you go with their answer?
Mukesh (frowning): Please lock. I wouldn’t have thought otherwise, anyway!
Shamitabh: Alright. You have now reached the mid-point. How are you feeling?
Mukesh (short of answer): On top of the world…not knowing how long before I fall!
Shamitabh: Doon’t panic…let’s see our next question.
Mukesh (giggling): I wish I had more than one option…perhaps my friend can help decide!
Shamitabh: Sure, friends are always there for help. Whom have you chosen as friend today?
Mukesh: Rajesh, is my Chaddi Buddy. We were backbenchers since school, and he knows me best!
Shamitabh: So great to have such friends..let’s dial him in! {ringing}
Friend: Hello!
Shamitabh: Hello, this is Shamitabh from ‘Who doesn’t want to be a millionaire’, and your friend
Mukesh, got stuck and needs your help to answer a question. You’ll only get 30 sec to respond. The
next voice is your friend’s.
Mukesh (excited): Hey Brah!
Friend: Hellooo…Hellooo!
Mukesh (adjusting): Brah, can you hear me?
Friend: Yes Bro, you’ve landed at this interview…amazing na! Don’t forget to ask Shamitabh to say a
‘Hi’ to our entire gang!
Mukesh: Just focus on this question…[Shows the question].
Friend: [silent]
Mukesh: Quick…what should I do?
Friend (teasing): Don’t you know (hehehe)? Should I tell them (hehehe)?
Mukesh: Shut up. Give a professional response!
Shamitabh: And time’s up…what do you want to answer now?
Mukesh: This guy is useless as always…I’ll use a second lifeline, Partner.
Shamitabh: As you wish…whom did you bring along with you?
Mukesh: My alter ego, Manisha, my wife…she’ll advises me all the time!
Shamitabh: I bet! Take your time.
Partner (warning): Dare you, if you think any of it!
Mukesh: Hun, but you know, it’s for employee morale! What would you do, if you meet such a
charming personality radiating with confidence? Of course, there aren’t many, other than me:)
Partner (frowning): Hell yes! …I eat work, drink work, sleep work…and do nothing but work!
Mukesh (unconvinced): Do I even have a choice? Please lock D!
Shamitabh (sympathizing): I can understand! Move over! Thanks for joining us, Manisha! Next one.
Mukesh: Um…I can do quite a favour, but right now thinking of taking one! I want to use ‘Power
Paplu’ to renew Audience Poll. Would like to understand what other people normally do.
Shamitabh: Let’s hear from our esteemed audience.
Audience 1/2/3/4 (in unison): C, being the least controversial and the least difficult!
Shamitabh: Time’s up! Show us the result, computer.
Computer: Boom
Shamitabh: Finally, a decisive result…Would you go with that answer?
Mukesh: Not really, but this helps! I want to stand out from the crowd…and do exactly the
reverse…D is my answer!
Shamitabh: That’s some courage! Good Luck, Charlie! Next one.
Mukesh: An honest reply will jeopardise my selection. Time to avail Flip Show privilege.
Shamitabh: Alright, computer, please replace with another question.
Mukesh: Huh, whatever...In this case B, ‘All’ till you prove otherwise!
Shamitabh: That’s clever.
So, we move to the penultimate one. We have two of our senior interviewers joining us for a
psychometric assessment. Let me introduce. Thor is sharp as thunder, and Merc with a mouth is the deadpool of the organization. Welcome Sirs!
Thor (staring from top to bottom): [Laugh at each other] So, this is our scapegoat!
Mukesh (anxious): [I should have guessed, why are they offering me a million...something’s fishy!]
(Running from chair): Sir, let me go, I’ll do anything for you!
Senior Interviewers (together): Sit and have a glass of water.
Mukesh (drinks)
Thor: I have an offer. I’ll qualify you if you support me. [Threatening] However, if you
don’t, I’ll be offended and disqualify you!
Merc: I give you the same offer, buddy!
Shamitabh: Pull your belts, for the next question.
Mukesh (puzzled): So, I can’t appease one without offending the other!
Shamitabh: Take your best chance!
Mukesh (thoughtful): I’ll always support you, Sir. Please lock A.
Merc: Really? That’s not done. Game over!
Mukesh: Not yet, (lightbulb) I use Double Dip:). Glad I preserved it! I’ll support you too, Sir. Lock B as well!
HR (steps in): Well done! You’ve managed such a stress interview! The last and an open question:
Q10 Imagine what would you do, if I were to give you the million-dollar pay check right now?
Mukesh: (jumps out of chair) Let the party Begin!
Dancers: Who let the Dogs outs – Baha Men
@Tanima (Office Humor)
